Last time ve discussed self-diagnosis. Ve learned that because of what you learned, you need help! Your friends need help. Your boss needs help, and all present and past partners, and spice (is that the plural for spouse) all are dangerously deranged. Because of that column, I am so busy I don’t have any time to myself anymore. Spending time alone is important, especially if you suspect that there may be two of you! But even if you are seriously crazy, it is good to be alone. Especially if zere are voices yelling at you from inzide your head. Voices are irritating and pretty good evidence that you need treatment. But it is a good idea to shut off the radio once and a while and hear if the voices have any good advice.

If you listen to politicians, who we know are all crazy, why not listen to the voices in our heads, they make as much sense. Of course disagreeing with a voice from your own head can cause problems too. So if the voices begin to give horse racing predictions or advise on Stock options, keep this information on a computer file. If it turns out to be accurate, go into the prediction business. If not, just turn your radio back on to keep away the dreaded silences. Listening to music can drive you crazy, but only if you listen to crazy music. I recommend only faintly disturbing music- it strikes the right balance.

You are probably eating too much chocolate. People who eat chocolate hear voices. Some of them might suffer from psychic deafness, and not be aware of the fact that they are hearing voices. I know this because I am Swiss and there is nothing like Dark semi sweet chocolate to start the voices talking. But hey. Chocolate is tasting so good and the voices are so very interesting are they not? But back to carrots and sticks. Let me sort out your brain so you can be sane again. Like me. Well I like me anyways.
Keep sending the cards and letters.

Dr. Dag Halfredt

Brain care if you have a strain there.