Wordscapes® Dr. Dag

Wordscapes^® Dr. Dag Help!!!!
	Mein Gott
As I have mentioned before I am treating Gott for some difficulties He has. Patient/Physician confidentiality forbids me from letting you in on exactly what His problem is. Modesty prevents me from crowing to all those fancy Psychiatrists out there, including and especially the fraud in Lausanne, " I AM TREATING GOTT AND YOU AREN’T. HA HA". Anyvays, ve vere having a cup of coffee together chatting and he said, "You know, what I get so tired of is the pronouncement thing. Every time I open My mouth to say anything, it has to be universal, profound, galactic even, deeply wise, prophetic, and cosmically fundamentally true. I get so tired of that." "You know I have za same problem." I vas genuinely sympathetic. Here I am, the great Dr. Dig Halfredt (more or less) and every time I say something, it is supposed to be leaden with perception, experience, hard and fast information. How very tedious. Take this column for instance. (Please-Ha ha. In fact take two and call me in za morning. Sometimes I kill myself…oops see vat I mean?) Regular readers hunger for yet another pearl of my pent up and towering visdom. Sometimes all I want to say is "Get over it! Go hang on someone else’s pronouncements, I just vant to talk about bicycles." But Gott has a point; if He was in a coffee shop (I don’t really think He goes to cafes) and he asks for milk and sugar in his coffee, (it’s 2% milk and no sugar really) people would say; "Hey that’s Gott, and he asked for milk and sugar, I wonder what he really means by that." Soon there are Milk and Sugar churches springing up all over za country….. I got to thinking that Gott and myself are really not zat different. A lot of psychiatrists feel that way. Most of them are in the part-time Gott mode. Not me. But Gott has all these problems, so do I. He worries about false Gotts, especially if they do better than him. I got some fraud in Lausanne, who has to be false otherwise I don’t exist. Gott has no vife. Neither do I lately, mine is now living in Lausanne. He worries about his job. So do I. He wonders what to do next. So do I. He creates brains; I take care of them. He has delusions of grandeur (oops there goes the patient/physician confidentiality). I think I am like Him. The similarities are endless are they not? Of course, I am more modest. I appreciate praise, but prayers are a little over the top. It is not necessary for example to forego all sexual interaction and go live in a brick building for my sake. Or go to war and kill people over something I may have said a long time ago before they had ballpoint pens. We all need respect. The main trouble with the respect thing is that it has to be earned-demanding it does not work and it is not very dignified. You want respect, do something, lots of things very well, for a long time, then maybe, just maybe you’ll get respect. Maybe. But don’t hold your breath waiting for it. People who hold their breath are thought of as crazy. If you are crazy visit my office. I’ll respect you (even afterward) I promise. Visiting Me, has got to be, the right action, for satisfaction. Hang in there lunatics. Dr. Dag Halfredt (NOT the guy from Lausanne)