 Wordscapes® Dr.
Dag Help!!!! |
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| The Suicide Solution | ||
| Dear believers and
disbelievers; Hey, a touchy subject for zis column funseekers! Ziss final solution iss not for everyone. Ziss is because probably no one has been able to report back zhat it vorked out fine or didn't or vas dissappointing or vhatever. Za jury iss still out on if it really works. In my pre-eminant position it iss risky to actually recommend ziss easy out. Gott vas visiting for coffee ze other day und I asked Him about it. He said: "We are not as concerned about how they died, we are too busy doing the paper work and making lodging arrangements. How they are dead, is not as important as that we have to deal with them." I think it might haff been more important in za past when zey had more time to be picky. But you know how things are, standards unt practices fall away in the rush of modern living (and dying.) Churches und other groups vith "human concerns" are down on death big time - especially suicide. Zey tend to go on about it. Churches see it as a drop in income, others are appalled at vhat happens to relatives and other miscellaneous survivors. Zey are also dissappointed zat the "magnificent gift of life" has been seen as such a pain in ze ass zat a strong vote has been cast against the adventure and joy of it all. Zo it is difficult to discuss ziss without lots of emotional baggage und upsetting lots of people. Za bottom line is do your best to get happy and down za road of existance, iff you get lost, stuck, unhinged, unhappy, desperate, unresponsive to a good hit on za head vith a stout stick, a zerious drag on fellow humans around you.....vell....check out. Give everybody a break. I vunce had a patient threatening suicide. After he told me his life story and difficulties, I couldn't help agreeing mit him. But I pointed out zhat suicide iss very unfashionagle and perhaps a more naturally appearing death might vork better. He vas a fat and aging guy who vas giving up. I told him to take up jogging. Ve vere both sure zat ziss vould kill him. I told him to put his papers in order und do ze vill and zen hit za trail in shorts. Ziss vould accomplish za purpose and not have any stigmas attached. Vell, za jogging nearly did kill him. But he lived. Poor fool got his wind going, lost weight, began to feel happy und in ze end decided not to die. He is now a successful, if thin executive banker. Zometimes it is vell to look death in ze eye, it gives life's misery zome positive perspective. Have a conversation with zomeone who has a terminal illness to zee how zhis works. Humans! Go figure. Often patients politely request zat I give zhem zome extra effort ven I hit zem mitt za stick- or zat I should hit zem tovord za vindow. Clever zey are, try to trick me. My office iss only on za second floor, vat are zey thinking of? Injury? Some day, I imagine I vill be wise. Und dear readers, as soon as ziss happens I vill pass ziss on to you unt save you some big troubles. In za meantime do drop by for a hit, und a bit of carrot. I am here, have no fear, we can vork something out, there iss no doubt. Your love und mine Dr. Dag |
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