 Wordscapes® Dr.
Dag Help!!!! |
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| Your Problem | ||
| Vith all ze
stress in mein life I am now seeing columns written by
mein delusional double. Is zhat vhat zhey mean by seeing
double? It has crossed mein mind zhat I could be
suffering from Multiple Personality Syndrome. But how
could a personality of mine live in another country? He
is a smug guy is he not? Looking for some business too, I
am thinking. He is calling me a "problem". How
polite. So I am now a "problem" solving
problems. Life is such a stinker no? Oh vell, if you are
in Switzerland und have a breakdown, go see him. See if
he can cure you on your holidays. Well, enough of mein problems, lets get to your problems, feeble und faint as zhey may be. It is true zhat a lot of problems vill go away if zhey are ignored long enough. Facing problems is very hard. It takes bravery, honesty, hard work, imagination, persistence und cooperation. These characteristics are in short supply, zo it is not surprising zhat people come to me vhen ignorance, cowardice, sloth, religion, drugs, television, loud music, und elderly ladies with Tarot cards do not help them. You should see ze damage zhat valks in ze front door here. Yesterday a man came to see me who insisted zhat he vas January. Since it vas February at ze time I pointed zhis out to him. It didn’t matter to him; he insisted zhat he vas really January. "Zhen you are past tense." I told him. " I’m tense right now," he said. Clearly he vas admitting zhat being January vas a problem for him. Ve vere on ze road to recovery. "How did you become a month?" I asked him, looking around for my stick. "Well first I was just a minute. Then I got hourly. Finally I was in a days, decided to skip weekness and go right into the monthlies. Frankly I can’t face yearling." "You picked a bad Month." "I can’t help it, I’m a victim of time." "January is very cold." "Yes." "But you are quite varm." "Am I?" "Yes, you are a varm January (WHACK)" "What happened? Where am I?" "You are now in February. Come und see me in March." He reset his calendar vatch and left. Mein Gott, everyone is a victim of time. Zo you see, treatment can be quite quick und simple. Some of you are hesitant to carry your heavy problems into my office because you are afraid of getting hit vith ze stick. Fear of pain is reasonable enough. Professionally inflicted pain is a fact of life, but ve don’t vant to face ZHAT do we? Mein home treatment scheme, ze two brick "Bliss Through Brain Damage" plan has had mixed success because of zhis. Having bricks around ze house is equal to admitting craziness. Zo there! You don’t have to admit craziness to take advantage of mein vast talents. Drop by for a visit to mein Brain Care Centre. It says "Ma Raney’s Mole Skin Cookies" on ze door for you shy types. Drop by und ve vill sort out your cookies. Und your months. Velcome all fools. Ze Doctor Rules. Dr. Dag Halfredt (possibly) |
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